Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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