Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
