I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
