the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize