Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The ass gains better be worth it
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