I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
