I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
