I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
