Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
