can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
