Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
