I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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