you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
