dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize