the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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