So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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