New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
