Don't you send me to vm
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
