somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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