Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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