No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
