Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
