I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize