Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
