D3 body, D1 cock
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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