If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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