my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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