Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
