I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize