Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
