Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
