My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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