A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
