I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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