his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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