I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
