I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
