I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
