I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
