Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
