He disabled his match.com account in front of me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
