so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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