My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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