I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
