I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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