So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My vagina just recognized that song.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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