she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
