before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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