Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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