I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
