I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
birth control should be required to get into college
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
