dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
