She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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