I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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