My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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