Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i out mim tonsoeep
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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