i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize