she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
